11 May 1993
It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. A couple of weeks I think. I’m not even sure what day it really is. I think it’s been about three weeks since I… died or whatever happened to me. Since I woke up in this horrible place.
I came across another person today. A living person, I mean. A little girl. She was sitting in the passenger seat of an old burnt out car. She doesn’t talk. I don’t know how old she is or anything. It took me like 45 minutes just to get her out of there, first, because it was hard to get the damn thing open. The doors were all rusted shut from sitting outside for… I dunno, forever I guess. I don’t even know how she got into the damn thing without getting tetanus. But then, once I got the driver side door open, by prying it with a rusty piece of rebar, she wouldn’t come out for another 20 minutes. She just stared at me dumbly while I asked her over and over to come out. Kinda creepy really.
She has little brown pig-tails and wears a little dress like a school uniform from the ‘50s. She followed me for the rest of the day until we came across this house. All the walls are still standing. That's a plus, I guess. There are two sofas in the living room that haven’t completely rotted away. She’s sleeping on the shorter one now as I write this.
I wonder how she got here. Was it like me? Did she die and come to this… Hell? Is she even real or just a figment of my imagination? I don’t understand any of this. I wish this were all just a dream. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow back in my bed in…
Editor’s Note: This fragment was found written on two brown pages, the second of which was torn in half, the bottom missing. The text is written in blue pen ink. The pages were found folded in the back cover of a Gideon’s Bible in a motel in Vancouver, Canada in 1983. By various scientific methods, the paper has been dated to the early twentieth century.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
The Thirteen Malaises
The Thirteen Malaise
Compiled and edited by Dr. Frederick Van Hinkelswich
1933
Introduction
Since the discovery of self-awareness men have sought to understand and explain the conditions and phenomena of the worlds they inhabit. Not having the tools or know-how to probe deep under the hood of the natural world, they could only imagine what it must have taken to create it and the things that live there. Who could have designed the intricate workings of the human body? Different cultures created different- yet similar- stories of powerful beings that can create light simply by thinking it. Or they can hurl lightning, or can live forever, invisibly watching over their beloved or hated creations. The stories of these great beings get written down or remembered in songs and oral traditions and forever after they get passed from generation to generation and, once learned, are accepted as simple fact from birth to death.
There have been thousands (probably more) of these religions and metaphysical ideologies throughout the worlds. Many are similar with minor tweaks, but believe me, all are wrong. All are based on conjecture and none can stand up to historical scrutiny.
Nevertheless, Let me assure you, there are powerful beings out there. Although they have power to manipulate the natural world- and they often fancy doing so- they did not create it. Some of them want men to believe they are gods or angels, but, just like you or I, they were born on a green earth, and they can die there.
To believe in these “gods” you don’t have to consult any ancient holy text. For proof of what I’ve said, all you must do is meet one in person. Throughout my planar travels, through much strife, I managed to interact with no less than eight of these powerful and colorful beings. Each encounter was more bizarre or wonderful than the last.
The travelers among you will have heard of the thirteen malaise. Also known as the thirteen divines on other planes. They have other names as well. In most belief systems, each one represents a condition of the human soul. In this humble tome, I shall describe in detail what I know of each one.
Contents:
1. Skepticism
Personifications: Lack of Faith. Disbelief. Explanation. Fear.
2. Acquiescence
Personifications: Lack of Curiosity. Faith. Giving up. Satisfaction.
3. Nostalgia
Personifications: The Good ol’ days. Homesickness. Conservatism.
4. Mortality
Personifications: Old Age. Death. Running out of time.
5. Boredom
Personifications: Curiosity. Liberalism. Spontaneity.
6. Disorder
Personifications: Chaos. Messiness. Lack of Planning
7. Necessity
Personifications: Hunger or Thirst. Poverty. Illness or Disease.
8. Squander
Personifications: Extravagance. Missed Opportunities. Tardiness and Time wasting.
9. Vengeance
Personifications: Anger or Rage. Envy and Jealousy. Justice.
10. Passion
Personifications: Addiction. Unrequited love. Determination and Learning.
11. Distraction
Personifications: Amusement. Procrastination. Art.
13. Oblivion
Personifications: Forgetfulness. Ungratefulness and dismissal. Stupidity.
Editor's Note: The above text comes from the first two and only remaining pages of a leather bound book found on a library book shelf in a delapidated and burnt out castle of north eastern Scotland. The rest of the pages were torn out and no where to be found. It should be noted that the book showed no signs of burn damage even though the rest of the books surrounding it were damaged beyond legibility by fire sometime in the late nineteenth century. The library itself was located on the basement level, the entrance of which was blocked by large stones that had once formed the castle foundation. The reader may also notice that there are only twelve names or chapters listed on the contents page. These facts lead to only some of the many unanswered questions surrounding this mysterious tome.
Compiled and edited by Dr. Frederick Van Hinkelswich
1933
Introduction
Since the discovery of self-awareness men have sought to understand and explain the conditions and phenomena of the worlds they inhabit. Not having the tools or know-how to probe deep under the hood of the natural world, they could only imagine what it must have taken to create it and the things that live there. Who could have designed the intricate workings of the human body? Different cultures created different- yet similar- stories of powerful beings that can create light simply by thinking it. Or they can hurl lightning, or can live forever, invisibly watching over their beloved or hated creations. The stories of these great beings get written down or remembered in songs and oral traditions and forever after they get passed from generation to generation and, once learned, are accepted as simple fact from birth to death.
There have been thousands (probably more) of these religions and metaphysical ideologies throughout the worlds. Many are similar with minor tweaks, but believe me, all are wrong. All are based on conjecture and none can stand up to historical scrutiny.
Nevertheless, Let me assure you, there are powerful beings out there. Although they have power to manipulate the natural world- and they often fancy doing so- they did not create it. Some of them want men to believe they are gods or angels, but, just like you or I, they were born on a green earth, and they can die there.
To believe in these “gods” you don’t have to consult any ancient holy text. For proof of what I’ve said, all you must do is meet one in person. Throughout my planar travels, through much strife, I managed to interact with no less than eight of these powerful and colorful beings. Each encounter was more bizarre or wonderful than the last.
The travelers among you will have heard of the thirteen malaise. Also known as the thirteen divines on other planes. They have other names as well. In most belief systems, each one represents a condition of the human soul. In this humble tome, I shall describe in detail what I know of each one.
Contents:
1. Skepticism
Personifications: Lack of Faith. Disbelief. Explanation. Fear.
2. Acquiescence
Personifications: Lack of Curiosity. Faith. Giving up. Satisfaction.
3. Nostalgia
Personifications: The Good ol’ days. Homesickness. Conservatism.
4. Mortality
Personifications: Old Age. Death. Running out of time.
5. Boredom
Personifications: Curiosity. Liberalism. Spontaneity.
6. Disorder
Personifications: Chaos. Messiness. Lack of Planning
7. Necessity
Personifications: Hunger or Thirst. Poverty. Illness or Disease.
8. Squander
Personifications: Extravagance. Missed Opportunities. Tardiness and Time wasting.
9. Vengeance
Personifications: Anger or Rage. Envy and Jealousy. Justice.
10. Passion
Personifications: Addiction. Unrequited love. Determination and Learning.
11. Distraction
Personifications: Amusement. Procrastination. Art.
13. Oblivion
Personifications: Forgetfulness. Ungratefulness and dismissal. Stupidity.
Editor's Note: The above text comes from the first two and only remaining pages of a leather bound book found on a library book shelf in a delapidated and burnt out castle of north eastern Scotland. The rest of the pages were torn out and no where to be found. It should be noted that the book showed no signs of burn damage even though the rest of the books surrounding it were damaged beyond legibility by fire sometime in the late nineteenth century. The library itself was located on the basement level, the entrance of which was blocked by large stones that had once formed the castle foundation. The reader may also notice that there are only twelve names or chapters listed on the contents page. These facts lead to only some of the many unanswered questions surrounding this mysterious tome.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
The Monkers' Error
...A Long winding tale goes along with it... but I can never tell it by true memory anyhow. The gist of it is that these two Oldem Monkers, the last of their respective Covenants you ken, they happen to live on the eastern and western slopes of adjacent facing snow-cap mounts deep in the far-outs of the eastern lands. The story is long, but in the end, after the worst snowtorrent they had seen in their long years, the two monkers end up trapped together under yards of snowy fall. They spend the remaining hours of their lives discussing the deep divides between their metaphysical views. The last remembered lines of the story consist of this dialogue. The rest has been forgotten by time.
Though the tale is well known and widely credited to the fabled Book, the moral lesson it is meant to give is not widely agreed upon. The layman usually agrees with the side to which he is most inclined, and the wise will mull it over until he dies. But those who are wiser... those who have seen what the world is really made of...they know what I know; that what these men have failed to realize is that in this world... It matters not whether you believe in the Gods... it only matters if the Gods believe in you.
Editor's note: This fragment of text (2 paragraphs and 2 lines of dialogue) was found during the excavation of a four thousand year old Egyptian tomb that had remained unfound and undisturbed for 4 millennia. It was written on the back of a paper diner menu from circa 1950 London, England. The utensil used was dark lead pencil, the words hastily written with the left hand. The writer's identity is unknown. The menu was found tucked in the grasp of the mummified decedent who occupied the tomb. How the menu came to rest in the tomb has never been successfully explained.
A: I've seen in this world evidence for many things... but never any proof of a creator who designed all we can see and touch.
T: The very fact that you can deny the existence of your Creator is proof enough of his hard work.
Though the tale is well known and widely credited to the fabled Book, the moral lesson it is meant to give is not widely agreed upon. The layman usually agrees with the side to which he is most inclined, and the wise will mull it over until he dies. But those who are wiser... those who have seen what the world is really made of...they know what I know; that what these men have failed to realize is that in this world... It matters not whether you believe in the Gods... it only matters if the Gods believe in you.
Editor's note: This fragment of text (2 paragraphs and 2 lines of dialogue) was found during the excavation of a four thousand year old Egyptian tomb that had remained unfound and undisturbed for 4 millennia. It was written on the back of a paper diner menu from circa 1950 London, England. The utensil used was dark lead pencil, the words hastily written with the left hand. The writer's identity is unknown. The menu was found tucked in the grasp of the mummified decedent who occupied the tomb. How the menu came to rest in the tomb has never been successfully explained.
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